Richard Stallman

Richard Stallman is possibly the most autistic and least self-aware being in history. Stallman has a distaste for public standards, known for obesity, working on a computer while people are speaking to him, not owning a mobile phone, interjecting people who refer to GNU/Linux as 'Linux' (studies show that autism limits one's ability to process colloquialism), and refusing to use a Windows PC.

Early Life
In early life, Stallman was knocked unconscious by a falling Windows PC, thrown out the window by NSA agents raiding an apartment building. Naturally, he has now dedicated his life to condemning Windows computers, under the premise of reducing use of 'non-free' software, and accusing the NSA of spying on Windows users. This intelligent argument allows Stallman to consistently degrade the popularity of both Windows and the NSA concurrently.